Breaking Down Walls
by PeytonSawyer'sLittleSister
Summary: Set in late 2006. Josh has one last secret. GH/OLTL xover in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Wish I did!

Dr. Josh Madden sat on the exam table in his blue scrubs, absentmindedly swinging his legs. He was tired from his 48-hour shift and just wanted to go to his apartment, take a long hot shower, and sleep until his shift.

But first, he had to get through this appointment.

The door opened and Dr. Joe Martin came in dressed in his white lab coat, shirt, and tie. He carried a chart in his hands and wore that soft, gentle smile Josh had become quite familiar with over the last several months.

"Hello, Josh," Joe greeted. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Josh replied, a small yawn escaping. "Tired, but good."

Joe frowned slightly, taking a seat on the stool beside the table.

"Sorry about such a long shift."

"It's okay," Josh told him. "I don't mind staying."

The smile returned.

"Well, I'm glad to know I have one devoted member of my staff," Joe looked down at the chart. "So, how have you been feeling since our last appointment."

Josh thought for a moment, wishing he had x-ray vision so he could see what was written.

"There hasn't really been much of a change," Josh said. "I'm still achy and have a bit of a cough. It hasn't gotten any worse, though."

Joe looked at the chart as Josh sucked in his breath.

"Your blood work shows that your counts have dipped a little," Joe said, concern in his eyes.

"Do you think it could just be stress from the last few months?" Josh asked, hoping his desperation wasn't so obvious.

In a span of four months, his dad had died, he found out Dr. Jeff Martin and Erica Kane were his biological parents, that Erica tried to abort him, sat through his dead dad's murder trial, and had been wrongly accused of statutory rape. He knew it was unlikely, but he had to ask anyway.

"No, I don't think so," Joe said sadly. "Your body isn't responding to your protocol. Now, it may not be your actual medications. It may just be your dosages, so I want to up them. Now, I'm going to warn you, you'll feel worse before you feel better. Most likely, you'll experience an increase in your aches, as well as nausea, vomiting, and headaches. Any questions?"

"How bad?" Josh asked a low whisper.

"You'll probably feel like you have a mild case of the flu, and, even though I'd prefer it if you would stay off your feet, you should be able to still work if you're feeling up to it."

Joe put his hand on Josh's knee and squeezed it.

"This isn't a full blown rejection. Many people with HIV have dips, and bounce right back without having to be put on a new cocktail. You've gone five years since your contraction without one, so the odds are in your favor. You're going to be okay."

Josh gave him a very faint smile. "Thank you for everything, Joe. I don't know what I would do without you."

"It's no trouble at all, and I'm so glad to be here for you." Joe paused. "Have you considered telling Jeff and Erica?"

Josh shook his head and looked down at his lap.

"I just can't bring myself to do it to them. We just found each other. I don't want to tell them that…"

Josh let his voice trail off.

"Don't worry," Joe said softly. "You'll tell them when you're ready. Now, here is your prescription. Go home and rest."

Josh accepted the paper and got down off the table.

"Thank you, Joe. Really, I mean it."

Joe offered him a smile and Josh felt himself being able to let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.


	2. Chapter 2

Josh flushed the toilet and sat back against the cold tile in the bathroom, still dressed in his plaid sleep pants, socks, and threadbare Guns n' Roses t-shirt. He was exhausted. When Joe said he would feel bad, he wasn't kidding. He ached everywhere and found himself paying homage to the porcelain throne at least three to four times a day and the rest of the time trying not to. He rubbed his forehead, trying in vain trying to preempt the headache that was building up.

He stayed like that for a few minutes, debating whether or not to call out. He had gotten through three days a work, but now he felt like he had reached his breaking point.

Josh pushed himself up off the floor, leaning against the counter to get his bearings.

He staggered out into his bedroom, then down the hall into the living room.

The strong smell of coffee wafted into his nostrils and almost sent him running back into the bathroom.

"Why aren't you dressed?" Jeff Martin asked from behind the kitchen counter.

He was fully dressed, coffee cup in hand, reading a copy of _The Pine Valley Reporter_.

Josh collapsed into the soft cushions and throw pillows of the couch. He knew there was a good reason he gave in and let Jen decorate the apartment.

"I'm not feeling very well," Josh sighed, sinking into the couch cushions. "I think I'm going to call out."

Jeff took a swig from his coffee cup and set it along with the paper on the counter.

"What's wrong?"

Josh mentally cursed himself. Jeff was slipping into doctor mode. He sat down next to him and put his hand on his forehead.

"What are you doing?" Josh asked, trying to brush the hand away.

"I'm checking for a fever. Hmmm, there doesn't seem to be one. What symptoms are you experiencing?"

"I'm nauseous, achy, and I have a headache," he replied. He just wanted to get Jeff off his case.

"Sounds like the 24-hour bug. Staying home is probably the best thing. Want me to stay just in case?"

Josh bit back a sarcastic remark.

"I'm 29. I think I can take care of myself."

Jeff stood up, allowing Josh to stretch out.

"I'm going to let that slide, only because you look really bad."

He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, and covered an almost sleeping Josh.

"Thanks," Josh said around a yawn.

"Shhh, sleep now." Jeff smoothed the blankets. "I'll be back around six."

The last thing Josh heard before giving into exhaustion was the sound of the door closing.

AMCAMCAMC

"Well, I have good news," Joe said beaming. "Your counts have bounced back up on the new dosages."

It had been two days since Josh had called out. He had to admit he was beginning to feel like himself. He had actually felt good when he got out of bed in the morning.

"That's great. Thank you so much," Josh replied, finally able to relax for the first time in days.

"You're welcome. Although I can't take much credit for the drugs."

Josh laughed. "Well, I should get back to work."

He got up from the leather couch and turned to leave Joe's office.

"Oh Josh."

"Yes?" Josh said, turning back around.

"There's going to be a family dinner at the house this weekend, and Ruth and I were wondering if you would be able to come. It's been a while, and I know Ruth would love to see you. I really would mean a lot to her…to the both of us."

Josh smiled.

"Of course I'll come."

Joe beamed. "I'll see you Sunday."

"See you Sunday."


End file.
